I'm a jerk

the other day I was hanging out with some friends, and we were chatting away about local schools and whatnot (the latest news here is how they're making big cutbacks at schools). I'm only slightly interested in this topic, but one friend made a comment about teachers that I disagreed with, and I said so. no big deal, we can disagree.

my thoughts wandered to a small favor that I needed from this friend in the near future, as he continued on with his points and arguments. so I butted in quickly and half-jokingly said, "hey ignorant-about-teachers guy, can I get a favor?" that was the wrong thing to say. he got pretty mad, which surprised me, to say the least. so he stormed out of the room.

in about 5 minutes he came back, still quite mad, emphatically stating he wouldn't be doing me any favors. I quickly apologized, only to receive a reprimand and another reminder that he wouldn't be helping me out anytime soon. so he left our gathering. it happened so quickly that one friend didn't even notice what took place. I really really don't like conflict, so I was feeling pretty terrible.

so I was left to stew in my juices all night, which I suppose was good for me. at first I was surprised that I had so easily touched a nerve. kidding around is pretty normal when we get together. then I was incredulous that he would flip out so much, and proud that I quickly apologized, and haughty about him remaining so mad. what's his problem anyways?

but then I realized how much of a jerk I am without even noticing. sure I'm probably known as a "nice guy" most of the time, but not-so-deep-down, I think I'm better than everyone else. and since I usually run with other "nice" folks (or at least like-minded passive-aggressive folks), my unkindnesses are hardly reacted to in such a manner. and I've become so callous that I don't realize when I've cut someone.

so now I think that he had every right to freak out. when next we saw each other, I quietly apologized once more. and thankfully he accepted. even better, he explained how my style of cutting him down in an argument is so maddening. since I don't do well with arguments, I tend to avoid them. this he knows quite well. and I know well that arguments are something of a sport for him and a few others we hang out with. so it seems that instead of arguing, I just hack away with a few cutting words and pretend to be flippant about it (to keep my distance), and my "nice guy" persona makes it even worse.

a couple weeks ago I taught the vacation bible school kids a lesson on forgiveness. I emphasized how we need to forgive because Jesus forgives us. now I know a little better what it's like to be on the other side: I desperately need the forgiveness of others.

oh Jesus, save me from this sinful heart, and thank you for your forgiveness, and for enabling others to forgive me.

take the wife

on Michelle's mom's recommendation, we went to see "The Notebook" last night. if you're up for a tear-jerking love story, take the wife (or other loved one) to go see this one. apparently some critics think it's cheesy, but I thought it was pretty good overall, if you dont mind a few stock love story conceits. well maybe more than a few. I especially appreciated the depiction of true love as a lifetime of dedication and service.

in the name

not that long ago I found out that our last name (Wiegers) means "cradle rocker" and/or "lullabye singer" in Dutch. of course if anyone reading this actually speaks Dutch, please feel free to affirm or correct. but I guess back in the day we were the nursury workers or something? is that why my parents have been baby crazy for all these years?

I for one am looking forward to fulfilling the family name. so far I haven't lived up to my first name, which means "bright fame," although my middle name, meaning "God is gracious" has been demonstrated a lot in my life.

so, I guess that makes me a brightly famous lullabye singer to whom God has been gracious? two outta three aint bad.

father's day weekend

I consider myself a father even though my son wont be born for seven weeks or so. yet I wasnt bold enough to stand up in church when pastor Cal had all the dads stand. I guess I havent paid many dues yet. but Michelle did give me a "i [heart] u dad" t-shirt, which is made even cooler when I look in the mirror: "u [heart] i bob"

my parents came for the weekend. more precisely, they came for 22 hours, as they want to save their days off for when the baby comes. they brought us a showers-worth of baby stuff, including our stroller (which is totally awesome)from the previous shower and the family cradle (rocking Wiegers and friends' babies since '72...sounds like a radio station slogan). plus lots of new and yardsale baby clothes and whatnot. they (and other family and friends) are taking very good care of our baby needs and wants and we're very thankful.

we went to the Chop House for fathers day dinner (on Saturday night) and it was good good good food (if you're into red meat). some of the best steak we've ever had. and since it's in the neighborhood, we took a turn through women's east, so my mom could see where it will all be taking place. she couldnt be much more excited.

and I put lots of new pics up on the site: some of my baby pics, our new cradle and stroller (scroll down), and some more flowers and garden pics.

gmail and garden

a friend hooked me up with a gmail account (in beta it's by referral only), so now I can refer others. if anybody wants an account, lemme know. I currently have 5 referrals available. folks are apparently selling referrals on ebay, which I consider too close to ill-gotten gain to try. although I did sell a dell coupon a couple times.

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the garden is coming along! we had our first tomato this morning (a cherry, that we split, so there wasnt a whole lot of nourishment, but it sure was yummy). and there's a good amount of cucumbers on the vine. there's a few bell peppers and the jalepenos are just about ready. there's also a couple yellow squash coming along and a little bitty cantaloupe. and of course there's a bunch of various green tomatos ripening, although some of the tomato plants are getting attacked by fungus or something, as well as the usual bugs. it's all a good bit of work, but it's starting to become quite worth it. and I think I'm even enjoying the process too.

vbs

I got to teach Vacation Bible School at church last night, and I loved every minute of it. the kids were separated into 4 groups: the 2-year-olds, the 3-4s, the 5-8s, and 9-11s. or something like that. there were only 4 of the 2s, but the other groups averaged 10 or 12. each came through for just 20 minutes, and then they were on to the craft or singing or whatever.

the lesson was on forgiveness, so the story was about Joseph and his ever loving brothers. Michelle helped me figure out some props and whatnot. I took my hideous old plaid sportcoat (coat of many colors), a little sack of coins (20 shekles), laundry bag (bags of grain), our silver wedding toasting cup, and a cardboard/tinfoil crown (for governer joseph).

I was a little nervous about the youngest and oldest kids (I'm used to the other ages), but I really got into the story. I always surprise myself when I get going, having a lot of fun and enthusiasm that you just don't see in me at other times. even the tiny kids stayed with me for the whole story (which is pretty long), and everyone seemed to enjoy it.

but more to the point, I hope and pray that I taught them well. I could feel the oldest set start to glaze when we got to the "so this is what this means" part at the end, but you never know what sinks in. I pray they all understand that we can and should forgive eachother because Jesus forgives us. not only is He our example, He's the only reason we can forgive.

I know a couple hours isnt the best reflection of what it will be like, but it makes me so excited to be a dad. I love how a different side of me comes out when I'm with kids. I'm probably taking some time off from teaching Sunday school this year because of the new baby, but who knows, I might not be able to stay away.

Dreft - one big scam?

Somewhat like planning a wedding, when having a baby you have to make all these little decisions no matter how laid back you want to be about it. Well we have found the Baby Bargains book, by Denise and Alan Fields, to be very helpful. They have a chapter on money wasters and they list special detergent for babies (Dreft and others) as a major waster. So this got me thinking and I'm pretty sure I agree with them on this one.

They give some good tips on washing as well. They say to always use gentle cycle to lessen wear and tear as well as to turn the clothes inside out so as to keep from pilling and fuzzing. They also say its good to do a second rinse to be sure that all the soap has been rinsed out of the clothes.

So what do you moms and dads out there in blogland do to wash your little tyke's clothes? Have you bought into the special baby soap? Do you have any other little pointers for washing baby clothes? I've decided to not buy into the Dreft scam and to continue using the soap I always have. (All free and clear) Its cheaper and then I can mix some of my clothes in with our babies and not worry about the special detergent. Though with diaper blow-outs and baby spit up maybe I won't want to mix our clothes in? Guess I'll learn as I go.

new name

until now this little blog was titled "best imitation of myself" which is taken from a pretty cool Ben Folds song. (and if you google the song title, I'm currently #3. weird). but being a Ben Folds song, it's pretty bitter at its core, while of course being clever and insightful at the same time. I'm attempting to rope Michelle into posting here, especially as she becomes a mom, so I figured a more family oriented name might be better. and as much as I like Ben Folds, I'm not into bitterness as much as I used to be.

so now we're "beulah land," as we live on Beulah Ave here in St. Elmo. pick up your bible and/or dictionary for various double meanings. and to the one or two of you who have us on your blog rolls, please update when you have the chance.

answers

God continues to answer our prayers for Michelle's health. when we learned she was pregnant, our biggest worry was that her long-troublesome health would suffer. would she be able to carry the baby w/o going on bedrest? would she have strength to care for him as an infant? would her back be damaged during labor? etc, etc, etc. praying is much better than worrying, so we try to give it over to Jesus each day.

well each and every report we've received about her health has been fantastic. most recently the blood-sugar test came back great, as well as anemia. and every sign from the baby has been great as well. the chiropractor has been amazed at how well her body is doing too. not long ago she needed to go see him 3 times a week, and now she's down to only one. pain-free days have become the norm, when once they were rare. and the other day she walked farther than she has in about 2 years. not everything is perfect (gotta wait til heaven for that of course), but overall God has answered our prayers with a resounding "Yes! I WILL bless your health!" (or something like that, since I havent yet heard an audible response).

so thanks to those who have prayed, and thanks to Him who answers. please pray for her labor and delivery, as well as the last 2 months as baby gets bigger and the weather gets hotter. we expect God's care and blessings...we'll see how He works it all out.

the Hs

we had a hard time sleeping last night. as we laid there awake, we realized that most of our troubles began with an H: heartburn, hyperness, heat, humidity, hormones and one more that I cant remember right now. but thankfully we were rescued by another: humor. we're just very good at making eachother laugh, especially when we're tired. I am so very thankful that Michelle gets slap-happy and silly when she's exhausted, because I don't dig on crankiness so much.

in other news, we made great progress in the baby's room this weekend. Michelle and Matt finished re-covering the yardsale chair, and it looks awesome. I finished painting the little shelf and dresser, and they look great in the room together. the remaining major projects include hanging a shelf, and rewiring and installing a ceiling fan.

we visited Women's East for a tour yesterday. seeing the place where we're likely to have labor and delivery of the baby made everything a bit more real (and contributed to the hyperness referenced above). the due date is 2 months from today, so we still have some time, but it's going by fast.

I want a hippogriff

buckbeak is awesome. for CGI, a really beautiful and cool creature. if you have no idea what I'm talking about, go see Harry Potter 3, or better yet, read the book, as it's the best one in the series.

I really liked the movie. I had high expectations, and they were met on pretty much every count. knowing that they'd have to leave out some stuff, they still did a really good job with the story, and the cinematography was much better than in the past. so go see it.

fish mail

this is easily one of the best pieces of mail I've received in a long time. pictures of the adventure here.

a little while ago Zachary and his mom were on a walk though the neighborhood, and they decided to stop by. while Michelle and Heather chatted about gardens and babies and whatnot, Z and I played on our various musical instruments. he doesnt remember, but he played on one of those drum things when he was probably 6 months old. and he was responsible for us wanting to have kids early on. then he started teething, and we lived just up the stairs. it didn't take long for us to find our own little house.

anyway, we ended up playing a little game involving magnetic fishing pole things and little metal-stomached fish with opening and closing mouths. he loved it.

so that got us on the subject of fishing, where he mentioned he'd never been fishing before. so I promised him that I'd take him sometime soon. I brought out my flyfishing gear as he looked and learned in awe. and every time I saw him thereafter, he'd ask when we're going. I told him there was a perfect place to go: a little pond in the backyard of a friend at church. in a short while we were off, just me and my favorite 5-year-old.

he's a pretty quiet kid, which is probably why I like him so much, as I'm that way myself. but on the way to the pond, he was positively hyper. talking non-stop about stuff only preschoolers can think of. I was cracking up most of the way there.

we arrived and I set up the gear on the little 8 foot dock. all I have is flyfishing gear anymore, so I just brought one rod to share. I tied up the fly, flipped it out on the water and twitched it a little, hoping for some willing sunfish. it didnt take long when we had a little guy on, and I gave Z the honor of hauling him in. pictures taken, scales touched (only a little), we released him back into the wild.

during an hour or so we hauled in a grand total of 5 little sunfish, and he was very satisfied. being a 5-year-old, he also played our little fish game too, while I tried to coax a big one in. all I ended up achieving was feeding some flies to the trees.

much to my delight, the evening passed without incident, although we had a very close call. as he looked in the box for a new fly to try, he ended up dumping the whole thing in the pond. my dad tied most of them, and there's about 30 in that box, and I figured they were all gone. but the box landed UP! and it floated! he never knew what might have been.

maybe next time we'll work on the basics of casting or something. or we'll just haul a few more little fish in to admire and set free.

facts vs. thoughts

somehow I'm in the habit of reporting facts about what's going on, as opposed to my thoughts on those facts. I dont think I like that, but onward with some more facts:

we had a good long weekend. on Friday we had dinner and games with a couple from our Bradley prenatal class. it was fun to get to know them a bit better and teach them Settlers. their kid is due pretty much the same time ours is, so it's always good to have a mini support group kinda thing too.

saturday was the St. Elmo yard sale, and we scored big this year. Michelle went out to find the bargains, and she came back with a cool little rocker/recliner for the baby's room (that we'll be re-covering), a nice little bookshelf for the baby's room, a boppy pillow, a nice baby sling, and a really nice set of wooden toy trucks. grand total for all this: $18. of course so far we've spent over $30 for the material and paint for spiffing up the furnature, but that's the way it goes. Michelle is especially excited about the chair.

saturday morning also found me cranking out the church newsletter. I assume people read it, but there are very few people willing to help with writing, so it gets frustrating. but it takes me back to my old student newspaper days, so I suppose the process is nostalgic. hopefully it builds up our church body a bit.

sunday we went to church and rested, and it was very good.

memorial day started somewhat strangely with a storm and lengthy power outage. from 3am to 10am we were with out power. thankfully the storm brought in a cold front (or is it the other way around?) so we were able to remain cool as we slept in late. it's strange to realize how much we rely on electricity, but it was nice to have everything quiet. we spent all day with the computer off, and it was very nice. I primed the bookself for painting, and I also sanded down my old dresser so we can prime and paint that too.

then we had a cookout across the street at the Petersons with most of the crew from work. good food. good times. lots of kids and a couple on the way.

so that's what we did this weekend.