I love turbotax.com

lately I've been very tired of the internet, even though it's the reason I have the job that I do. seems like a big waste of time overall. I guess it's just my fault for being prone to wander (Lord I feel it), but there's been too much espn.com, cnn.com, weather.com, and yes, chattablogs.com around here these days.

but I still love some of the online tools (such as netbank, amazon, etc), and the latest favorite is turbotax.com. I have no idea why anyone would bother doing their taxes any other way. If you got all your stuff in front of you, you can have your taxes done in and hour or two, for only $20, including electronic filing. worth every penny, as they step you through every little thing.

maybe I'm just giddy b/c we thought we were going to owe this year, and it turns out we get a bit back. bless the person who thought of having student loan interest be deductible (or a credit. or something).

dean and gillian

did any one else notice that howard dean is married to gillain welch?

miracle

you're early. almost impossibly early. in fact, I'd thought you'd never come, so I quit looking for you. but here you are, almost 12 weeks along, and you're already our little miracle. I know people say that kind of thing all the time, but I think I've got a good reason for using such language. if it's not too much for you, allow me to explain a little.

your mom has had some health issues over the years, even though she's still pretty young. she's got something called polycystic ovarian syndrome (pcos), which is apparently one of the leading causes of infertility. I won't gross you out with details, but I was pretty sure you wouldn't be coming along until we saw more than a few doctors to help us out. trust me, the chances of you surprising us like you did were pretty slim.

and she's also got something called fibromyalgia. hopefully by the time you're reading this your mom's fibro will be under control, but last year was pretty rough. it's a little complicated, but the bottom line was constantly sore muscles along with chronic fatigue and lots of other weird health issues. there's apparently a good chance you may have fibro too, so we'll keep an eye out and take good care of you either way. we found a good treatment, and that was coming along pretty well, so well that we started thinking about you, just a little.

your mom was thinking about you more than I was. not that I wasn't excited about the possibility of you coming along, but for a while all I could think of was the struggles with doctors and treatments and such. after battling fibro for a year, I was pretty tired, and not quite sure about heading into another round of such things right away.

so your mom, my beautiful wife, reminded us to pray. so we prayed that God would grant us the blessing of having you without having to worry and struggle about health stuff. I hope you don't inherit my bad attitudes, because I was pretty skeptical. after more than a few years of various difficulties, I was expecting the worst. but yet I prayed, trying to repent of my faithlessness, remembering how good God truly is to us, knowing that He wants good things for us.

it turns out, if our calculations and memories are correct, that He answered our prayers before we even prayed them (which is one of my favorite things about God and prayer: if He's beyond time, then it doesn't matter if we pray before or after, right?). it seems that you were already on the scene, our embryonic little baby. of course since we didn't expect you, we weren't on the lookout and you remained undetected for over a month! I was certainly shocked when I found out you were hiding in your mommy's tummy. even now you hardly seem real. I just can't wait to hold you in my arms, to admire your tiny fingernails, to play you a lullabye. august seems so far away!

for a while there we thought you even beat the odds of birth control (which is about 1 in 100 apparently). your mom was on the pill for a little while to help with some of her pcos issues, but it seems you came along just before then. yet it wouldn't surprise me if you did beat those odds, because as far as I'm concerned you've beat odds far steeper than that.

so you see: you're our miracle. now don't go thinking that you had anything to do with being a miracle, because it's pretty clear that God did all the work. He took your mom, with bad ovaries, bad back, bad muscles, put her together with me, with a bad attitude and often wandering heart, and with our love made you, even before we remembered to pray! I know you're not perfect, but I pray that you'll know that you are a miracle from God, who has been made with love. Even more, I pray that your heart will someday soon be remade by the miracle of Jesus.

I love you.

blog vs. website

or: I think I'm outta here, but not quite sure.

I got this website, and I got this blog, and I think they're redundant. I like my site a lot, and I can update it just as easily as the blog. And I've trained old friends and family enough to go there and check it out now and then.

I like the community idea that's here at chattablogs, but I'm more into commenting on others stuff than anything else. So I think I'm going back to the family site. But maybe there's a way to feed the blog into my site directly? I don't know much about that.

Any thoughts?

bahamas report

check out the pictures here.

Our 4 day jaunt to paradise was in many ways better than expected. The location and facilities were beautiful, the people very friendly, and the crowds were sparse. The weather was warm and sunny, although the wind kicked into high gear on saturday and sunday. Too windy for sailing even (and of course far too windy for flyfishing). The fishing and snorkeling could have been a little better, but both served to remind me of all the good times we had in the ocean growing up (which wasn't very far away in fact). The food was of course excellent, although some of us had a bad experience or two. The guys came away as big fans of Kalik Gold (bahamian beer). Since my parents sprung for the all-inclusive package, I enjoyed more beer than I've had in the past couple months combined (which isn't as much as you may be thinking).

Michelle did rather well for the most part, although she had to take it slow due to the fibromyalgia rearing its head again. And she still had morning sickness, which in the end turned into more than just morning. But overall we enjoyed relaxing together and with the family, in what will most likely be our last hurrah before parenthood. We were anxious about the baby-on-the-way dynamic with my sister, but thankfully those fears turned out to be unfounded.

It was a bit odd to be in the bubble of the resort. It didn't feel all that carefully controlled, but in some ways it didn't feel quite right either. Perhaps the weirdness comes from knowing that all that stuff, no matter where you look, is there for us. We would wonder: are all these nice people being friendly because that's the way they are, or because they are paid to? Perhaps both. A few actual conversations we had with the staff showed them to be lively, smart, and friendly folks.

It's hard to believe I was eating cracked conch and downing a margarita by the water just 24 hours ago. And the temperature was about 40 degrees more than it is here. Back to "normal" life, which is a very good thing after a month of fun but hectic travels. The next thing to look forward to is the 2nd ultrasound and Michelle's tummy getting bigger and bigger.

.net humility

I'm finally getting around to programming with ASP.NET. It was bound to happen some time.

After more than 3 years of getting by with regular old ASP, I am being humbled by this newfangled technology. Of course I don't like all the "let me do that for you" that MS does for every little thing, but there are some cool and powerful things going on here. But I'm not quite sure what they are yet. It took me a full workday to figure out a simple database insert from a form (that would take 30 minutes to do the "old" way). Hopefully this will get easier.

bahama bound

for some strange reason we're going to the Bahamas this week. my parents got some unexpected funds from their parents, and they wanted to share the wealth with the fam, so they're taking us and my sister and her husband for a 4 day getaway at somewhat all-inclusive resort. with all the other craziness going on in our life we were a little worried about going, but we're finally getting excited. so bring on shorts, chacos, fishing, and lots of good food and (hopefully) good beer.

the funniest thing in st. elmo

for those of you who may not live in the heart of st. elmo, you're certainly missing some great entertainment. in case you can't tell, this is a custom-built trike, with a big fat (or is it phat?) stereo on the back. cd player mounted on the handle bars. best ridden at slow speeds, looking as tough as possible.

these kids clearly think they're the baddest thing on the planet, but little do they know they're pretty much the funniest thing around, although I certainly admire their ingenuity and creativity. but the joke fades when they're blasting profane and vulgar stuff at high volumes within earshot of toddlers. nevertheless, they're a constant source of entertainment, as there was four of them around this summer. as soon as school started and the weather cooled it quieted down, but today we had one come down the street. to make it even more absurd, this guy has taken to walking his contraption down the street in leu of riding.

first sight

I saw you for the first time on Wednesday. You've got a big head, you know? You must take after me, but hopefully you'll grow into it.

We waited 23 days since we knew you were with us to get our first glimpse, and there you were, your little heart racing. And you wiggled and danced a little too. Maybe you didn't like that weird machine encroaching on your territory. Now we know about when we'll see you face-to-face: early August! That seems so far away. One of the books tells me you're getting 100,000 new nerve cells every minute. We just pray that God will knit you together so you can serve Him well.

I want you know how much of a miracle you are, and always will be. I'll tell you more about that later, but I don't want you to forget that.

I love you.

sadness and fear

another co-worker is leaving today: Ben Horner is going off to England. This makes me happy for him, yet sad for us. We saw him turn into the best web designer I know, and perhaps one of the best, period. And his print design rocks too.

I actually miss him already, since for a while last year Michelle and I were in the same Bible study with him. It's funny (odd, not ha ha) that I've been in close proximity with him for over 2 years, and never really knew him until that time. And now that that time is done, back to simply proximity. I guess you'll have this in "quiet guys" of which I am one as well (mostly).

So he'll be an ocean away, and I surely hope we get someone in here that's even close to having his skills and personality (his chief virtue that I saw in this office: patience with all of our, er, interesting idiosyncracies). I don't want to slight anyone we may have already interviewed, but it's been really tough to find his replacement. But we'll go on and still be the best web company around. Or something like that.

Bye bye Ben.

we're having a BABY!

Really! God has unexpectedly blessed us with a little one on the way. We are shocked, amazed, and deeply thankful for this blessing, and for the good report at the first ultrasound. We saw the tiny heartbeat and saw the kid dance and wiggle. Everything is going great, and the due date is August 7. Please pray for us!

I've been blogging about this since we found out on December 15, but have left it unpublished until we broke the news. So check the archives for all the scoop, and of course our website has everything too, including pictures!

good news

We finally had the ultrasound today and all appears quite normal. We're so very thankful and relieved that all is well. And there is only one kiddo in there, so we're thankful that we can take things one at a time.

After so much buildup the experience was a little surreal. Here I was, sitting in a chair next to my wife, with the friendly lady operating the machine, as I look up and get the first glimpse of my child. Granted, it's a little fuzzy on the screen, but it's undoubtedly a healthy little baby. Little arms and legs, and an overly large head. And a little heartbeat, pulsing 170 times a minute. There was even a few squirms and wriggles that brought to home the obvious yet elusive fact: there's a real live baby in there! The wonders and blessings of technology. Upon seeing the kid on the screen, Michelle thinks it's a boy. In a couple months we'll hopefully find out!

We're only 9 weeks along, but the word is that the big hurdles are 4, 6, and 8 weeks. Michelle was hoping that she was farther along so she can be rid of the sickness, but it seems she'll have at least a few more weeks of that.

It finally seems real. God is so good to us.

angel mechanic - part 2

the saga continues, and I'm starting to think that this guy isn't going to go away. my internet patience and attention span is running short. but there must be a reason for all this.

so I show up at his place this evening, and he found a problem with the headlight, which was apparently the root of all this evil. but he can fix it, no charge. oh yeah he also got a ticket at one of the republic lots when he came downtown to find me today. add $6 to the tally.

at 8:30 he pulls up, and he says he accidentally blew the bulb, will have to get another tomorrow and install it then. everything else is apparently running better than ever. he tried to fix the gas gauge too. and the loose mirror. I find myself having to constantly tell him NOT to fix things. and he's doing all this on the butt-coldest day of the winter so far.

Michelle's out to see Cold Mountain with friends. So I invite him in. Feed him a cupcake. He uses the phone. He uses the potty. Uses the phone again (long distance). He talks about his family. Too much information perhaps. I even learn that he's recently been in jail a few days because of an unpaid ticket and failure to appear (in Rossville). He's got 4 kids of his own, but divorced. nasty custody battle over the oldest, who is 16. Apparently he's spent all their money trying to get his daughter back, and their car blew up on the way home from the court in georgia or something. His fiancee has 2 school-age kids too, and tomorrow is their first day at schools here in TN (they just moved from GA). And he doesnt know the bus schedule. After skirting and aplogising, he comes around to asking me to borrow the truck to take the kids to and from school. They're getting their car back from the body shop on Friday.

How can I say no? All his stories make sense, and he's proven himeself trustworthy quite a few times within the last 24 hours. He's saved our butts with the truck, and yet my suspicious heart wants to cut him loose. But I can't. There must be a reason why. So I make some calls arranging a ride into work and to borrow Dave's car to make the Dr. appointment. So the truck is his for a while longer. Michelle's not going to be too happy, but hopefully she'll trust me with this. I can't shake this feeling that there's a purpose for all this. At times I suspect that he really IS an angel. Maybe I'll ask him.

I gave him another $20 for the work on the truck. That makes it $123. Plus the $6 parking ticket. Less $5 in gas he put in the truck, and less about $60 in parts. Still not a bad deal. And it looks like I'm making a friend that I definitely wouldn't otherwise make. He saw our porch and he wants to come fix it this weekend. He wants to check the Honda to make sure I didn't screw anything up. He's as generous with his time as Scot Redpath, and that's saying a lot. And Scot knows a thing or three about cars too.

Henry said he talked to his mom last night, and she was apparently praying for him yesterday because he's without a car right now. Based on how he told the story, he doesn't seem too keen on prayer. But he said, that's when I met you. As if I'm the answer to HIS problems. You know what I prayed when the truck wouldn't start? First it was "sh*t!" every time I unsuccessfully turned the key. Then a pathetic, "Please God!" which probably qualified more as "in vain" than a prayer. But he sent Henry: the nicest, if not oddest, stranger I've met in a long while.

angel mechanic

I don't get along very well with cars. I have nothing against them, and most have served me rather well, but there always seems to be something. Perhaps it's because all but one of the cars I've driven have 6 digits on the odometer.

Well last night it was the old ford pickup that Joe Staven bequethed to me right before they left for Honduras. He payed very little for it a while ago, and it's served him quite well. Yet it's got 190k on the dial, so I'm driving on borrowed time. I put 10 miles a day on it, just to work and back. He advised if anything goes wrong, just to ditch it. Well I was prepared to ditch it last night.

I stopped at Winn-Dixie to get a gallon of milk, and when I turned the key to go home, it wouldn't start. Sounded like it may have needed a jump start. So I got a ride from my neighbor (there's ALWAYS someone I know around the Dix, no matter when I'm there). Upon returning with Michelle and the Honda, I proceeded to try to jump start it. Well, the battery wasn't clearly labeled, and I STUPIDLY got my wires mixed up. I am very thankful that I (apparently) didn't screw anything up with the Honda. But I almost burned down the Ford, as there was smoke coming from the overheated (and cheap) jumper cables. Michelle thought we were gonna die.

Apparently the smoke signal did the trick. Out of the night steps our angel mechanic. A talkative, friendly guy with a slightly weathered look and somewhat bad teeth, Henry came to our rescue. He got the cables arranged properly and the truck started charging. But it didn't start. Made some funny noises. He said he could fix it, as he's a mechanic (and carpenter and who knows what else). But we had an urgent need to get to a store out by the mall, so after talking for a while, and somewhat verifying his story with the Winn-Dixie off-duty cop, I gave him the key. He said he was going to get his tools (he lives on 41st and Alabama) and have it running within an hour.

So returning from the mall, we went to his place to find him in the running truck. He fixed it! I gave him all the money in my wallet: $23. But there's a catch: it was just a temporary fix, and he could fix it right tomorrow for about $50 total. Still not too bad.

Now it's tomorrow. He says it'll be all ready this evening. He needed to buy the part new (he thought his friend had one used, but it didn't work apparently), so I gave him more money. And I'm starting to wonder if I made a mistake. Will there be another "unexpected" expense?

Why did I trust this guy? I pretty much gave him the truck. He could have driven it away, and I'm sure I would have never seen him again. He could have been just another fast talker. As he was talking, I felt that he was being sincere, besides the fact that he raised one big red flag: I find it hard to believe anyone who tells me he "don't do drugs or anything like that." It really does seem like he enjoys helping people, and he clearly works for himself, doing odd jobs for cash. I think I can support that.

And I do believe that God sent him our way. He knows we don't have much money to fix this truck, and although it may be a vehicle more for convenience than anything else, it's what takes me to work and back. Henry has come through for us so far. He's only going to take home about $60 for all his trouble, so I feel like I'm getting a steal here. We'll see how it works out.

a little late but...

I'm currently enjoying two of my favorite Christmas presents: simultaneously!

The beautiful voice of Gillian Welch is piping through my humble headphones, and I fall more and more in like (I usually reserve the term 'love' for more sacred things) with her songwriting, singing, and playing. So thanks to Lori and Joe for my copy of her "Soul Journey" album. I also received Sean Watkins' "26 Miles" and Tim O'Brien's "Traveler." Good stuff all around.

And at the very same time I am wearing a T-shirt featuring Homestar. And it's very cool. Even cooler that today is the first day in a LONG time that there's been something new on the homestarrunner.com site. Thanks Em and Steve for the high-stylin fashions. Maybe soon I'll also be wearing the pants from Old Navy that Michelle got me. Lots of Old Navy stuff for the both of us this year. I guess they've got us pegged.

And I must mention the latest addition to my growing pile of cool/random instruments. Mom and Dad got me a 2 course gourd thumb piano. If you have no idea what that is, come by and check it out.

You may or may not notice that I'm not a very faithful blogger. That's about to change. Trust me. There's always pictures and such on the family site too.

not more than we can handle

Tomorrow is the big day, at least the biggest one so far: the first ultrasound! And just to add to the buildup, the nurse suspects that there may be more than one baby lurking in the womb. Apparently the degree of Michelle's sickness and the fact that the sickness medication isn't working that well is making her wonder.

But besides finding out how many kids are in there, we're especially looking forward to good news about health and development, and of course how far along we are.

Michelle thinks and hopes that she's about 13 weeks, but the nurse thinks more like 9. So we'll see. One kid? Two kids? 3 months? 4 months? These are the magic questions that'll be answered in just over 24 hours.

Just the thought of this is more than a little overwhelming, so we'll just wait and see. As Michelle keeps reminding us: God won't give us more than we can handle. But it seems God likes to adjust our views of our capacity for handing. Or maybe it's that our ability to "handle" goes up the more we handle it all in faith. Either way, it's all definitely more than we can handle on our own, so I pray that God will increase our faith.

the countdown continues

While most folks counted down the last days of 2003, we were counting the days until January 7. That's the big day when it all becomes a little clearer: the ultrasound! We'll know how far along the baby is and whether or not everything is proceeding as normal. Michelle thinks she's about 12 weeks along, though the doctor said it could be more like 8. So we shall see! And assuming all goes well, we'll break the news to the world in general after the test.

We thought Michelle was coming out of the nausea stage, but the respite lasted only about a day and a half. It has been hard for her to keep food down, and there are not many foods that she's interested in eating in the first place. Since she's hypoglycemic, it has been especially hard to get her body what it needs. We worry somewhat about how the baby is doing, but we know that the Lord will provide. She's been able to keep down her vitamins and the progesterone too, so I'm pretty confident that all will be well in good time.

We've delved just a little into the sea of baby products. We briefly stopped by babies-r-us as well as Target, and surfed around amazon too. It is indeed overwhelming. Too many cribs, changing tables, strollers, car seats, etc, etc, etc to choose from! And how the heck are we going to pay for all this stuff? So it's a lot of fun to window shop, but it's a tad stressful too. There's word of a baby shower up north this spring, so hopefully that will work out.

My first major preparation for the kid: buying a repectable digital camera. We didn't really have the money, but there is some on the way from various sources. Anyway, I got a Sony DSC-P72, which I've had my eye on (the good one) for quite a while. It seems as if they're about to discontinue this model because I found it on sale and with a rebate. If you've been paying attention you know that we love to use our digital camera. Well now that we've got a good one: watch out! We'll see how long it takes to fill our harddrive, and I'm sure we'll be keeping walmart busy with those 24 cent 4x6 prints.

And I've been nesting! The trim in the blue room was never painted last year when we moved in. So I took it on for my New Year's Day project. I got all the picture rail and baseboards done, as well as the doors, and a few other places around the house that needed it. The dining room trim is still undone. We'll see if I get to that any time soon. It's a lot of fun to sit in the kid's room and dream about how it's going to look as a nursury. One thing we do know: boy or girl, the walls are staying blue. We're not into pastels anyway.

So in 4.5 days we'll know a bit more. My folks and their best friends Herm and Judi are stopping by tomorrow, so that should be fun. And then we wait it out. One. Day. At. A. Time....