tired

we are very tired right now at our house. Michelle's fibro is back on the scene, after about a year break due to pregnancy and nursing. so it's been hard to readjust to her not having much strength or energy to do much besides the essentials, and the "why us?" bitterness that goes with it. we really wish Alice would sleep through, but we know we shouldnt expect that from at 3 month old. sometimes I'll take the middle-of-the-night feeding, and that makes for a sleepy day afterward, leading to less patience with it all, etc. and what was that about a prayer life? oh yeah.

some days are better than others of course, but I think part of it is adjusting to the tiny baby phase again, and how needy that cute little creature is all of the time. not that she's got any problems really (besides the annoyance of spitting up a lot), but I think I forgot how much time it takes to look after a baby (and I'm not the one there all day). so I get frustrated that there isnt much time or energy left to spend with Michelle or do other little things that I enjoy, much less keep up with the dishes and paying the bills. when this is added to mama feeling down-and-out, it starts to get overwhelming. I've consumed way too much chocolate to help me cope a bit. good thing I'm too cheap to hit the strong beverages very hard.

I find myself longing for the day when the baby will sleep for 12 hours, and I'm pretty sure that day will come soon enough. but now I realize I need to take up what we've been given now, and not sit around and whine about it. this tired and bitter heart needs to be changed, and it needs to be changed every day. sleep would help too.

so please pray for us. I realize now that these struggles are pretty much from the huge blessings in our life (namely Caleb and Alice), and I need to remember that. pray that we'll be faithful, and pray for Michelle's health especially.