staring at the son

I love to play with my boy. I also love to just sit and watch him play on his own. he's a ways from being self-conscious, so he'll happily do his thing while I study his moves. it really is amazing to see him discover his little world.

like playing with a box: moving the flaps back and forth, back and forth, checking on the contents of the box (a package of diapers), moving the flaps again. folding down the flap as far as it will go, watching it pop back up again. smiling at this new game. fold the flap. watch it come back. smile. look at daddy to see what he thinks (he smiles and says he thinks it's pretty cool). big grin. check on the contents. move the flaps again. this goes on for at least 5 minutes. amazing, considering nothing would console him 10 minutes ago.

I didnt take time to do much reflection on father's day, but just watching my boy grow and discover things fills me with thanksgiving and awe. I never realized how much I would love my kids. and here's a life that has been entrusted to my care. amazing.

yet I've realized I can fall into the trap of raising my kids to be just like me, especially since Caleb is a dead ringer for me (and everyone is always reminding us of that). sometimes I do feel like I'm looking at a tiny version of myself. but no, he's HIMself, as besides, he's made of just as much of his mama as me. JQ recently pointed out a good article on this topic. it's good to be reminded that Caleb and the new baby are NOT my own, but belong unto my faithful Savior Jesus Christ, as the old catechism says.