exhausted

it has been an exhausting week. we're not quite utterly spent, but it seems that we're getting close. Oh Jesus, will you give us more strength?

after the most amazing and joyful 2 weeks of our life, we suddenly were thrown into pretty much the most stressful time we've ever had. Caleb was losing weight. we know that weight loss at the fist week is normal, but to keep losing at the second week is cause for concern.

we thought we were doing fine, since he was apparently eating ok and looking good. but we've got a lazy eater on our hands, so mama's milk hasnt come in well. add to that some of mama's own health issues that affect milk supply. but mama especially has her heart set on nursing, for various good reasons, so we persevere.

so we jumped into the feeding frenzy. mama's taking suppliments to bring her milk back in. we have him nurse for over an hour. then suppliment with formula by finger feeding, which would take 30-45 minutes. meanwhile mama would be pumping what she could, and we'd give him that too. then I'd wash all the bottles and pump stuff and whatnot. then hopefully take a nap and start the process all over again. we've been doing this since wednesday, only trading in the finger feeding for bottles on sunday.

all of this is not only physically draining, but especially emotionally exhausting as well. we're not sure if we can keep this up. the milk seems to be coming back in, but we're not sure if caleb will eat well enough or not. he seldom acts hungry. who's ever heard of a baby that's content to starve? add to this a bad case of thrush, causing mama serious pain, and it's starting to not seem worth it any more.

but we're not giving up yet. we really do believe it will be for the best if we can get him to nurse, but there comes a point when we'll decide that we've given it our best try and it's time to move on to other options.

so pray for us please, for strength, patience, health, wisdom and peace.