choices

dear son,

sorry it's been a while since I've written TO you, but I've certainly done little else but think and write about you. I figured you may want to be clued in on some choices we've made that pretty much directly affect you. of course God in His sovereignty has led us to these choices, and we're always trying to follow his lead. so here goes, in no particular order:

we live in what I'd call a lower-middle class neighborhood. grandma thinks it's unsafe, and I'm sure she wishes we were in a more suburban setting. but we love being close to our friends and church, and I dont think we can afford suburbia anyway. sure there's drug dealers down the road, but God takes care of us. we're actually surrounded by Christian families, some of which we know quite well. sometimes I wish it was quieter and safer, but we're glad to live here.

your mom works "in the home" as they say. I'm so glad that she doesn't have to worry about working elsewhere. at first it was hard for her, but now she loves taking care of us, and she does it quite well. I'm so glad that my job is able to take care of our needs, but some months it's literally a miracle that we come out with a positive balance. God takes care of us.

I love my job, but I'm definitely not a ladder-climber. it's much more important to me to have a workplace that values family time. since I think work is the means to taking care of the family (as opposed to making money), I dont ever see us being rich and comfortable, but I think that's for the best (of course in the big picture, we ARE rich and comfortable, but hopefully you know what I mean). we dont have fancy stuff, but we definitely have everything we need, and a lot of the things we want as well, so there's no room for complaints.

oh yeah, we have lots of college debt, because we chose to go to Christian colleges, but we dont regret it at all. well maybe sometimes, but we sure learned lots of good stuff in college that made us who we are now. maybe we'll be able to save to help you pay for college. maybe not. maybe your grandparents will help...

back to your mom: I'm so glad that she can stay home with you and whatever siblings you may have (hopefully at least a couple). it's really important to us to raise you up well, and we know that the best person God has for that job is us (as crazy as that may sound!). we have lots of ideas about how that might work, but only God knows what's ahead. we just pray that He'll show us the way.

this is somewhat random: we have a deep mistrust of TV. books are much much better. I was raised with lots of TV, and I think I missed out on a lot. lots of kids watch lots of TV, but hopefully you wont. it's just better that way.

your mom and I love eachother very much. sometimes it's hard, but we choose to love because Jesus loves us. it's an amazing mystery really. we'll see how it all works out when you're in the picture. that's the cool thing about love: adding someone doesnt divide it, but rather it multiplies! we love you so much already -- wait until you're in our arms.

finally and most importantly, we choose to trust Jesus with all our lives, and we can only do this because He sent His Spirit to us first. over and over He has proven Himself faithful. if you ever doubt, just remember that your very life is an answer to prayer. remember how, just before you came along, God healed your mom's body from terrible sickness. remember how He knit you in her tummy and kept you safe. remember that, despite our constant failings, God still loves us and even died for us.

my son, our covenant child, for your entire life, however long or short it may be, I want you to learn one thing: "Jesus loves me, this I know, for the Bible tells me so."

see you soon.
love,
daddy